I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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