i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Randomize
