...so i touched it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
how does that bad decision feel?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
