I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
