So drunk its hurt
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
