i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
