reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
