you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
