I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
