He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
