break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize