No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
