She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
