Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I look better un-naked...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
