Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
