At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
