I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
