why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
