So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
we made out on top of his cat.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
