Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
