I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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