A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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