maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
