My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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