Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
In America we eat man semen.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
