Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize