there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
no more duck duck goose at the bar
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
