He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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