Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize