What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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