Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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