Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize