That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
