just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
