Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My hand turned me down
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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