Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My dick has a subreddit
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize