i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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