now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
