please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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