when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
