i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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