Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
