at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Randomize
