i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
