you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
