My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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