What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
