bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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