How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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