i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
