I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
