Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
