It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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