i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
