hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
