How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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