No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
