Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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