did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize