could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
ttyl tear gas
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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